2023: Year in Review

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2023 was a year of ebbs & flows, mostly highs but also some lows. Many of the highlights of the past year involved spending time with our great friends, the Sneddon and Leslie families: ringing in the New Year, a fun Superbowl/birthday ski weekend in Red River, 4th of July in Ruidoso, and a summer camping trip in Jemez. Charlie and I both took solo trips this year also… His was a solo road trip to Baja Mexico to meet-up with friends and camp on the beach.  Mine was to Jamaica in October to meet up with 15 of my female cousins on my Moms side of the Knox family.  It was such a gift to my soul to get to experience the time with them, so much laughter & family stories!

In March, the children and I enjoyed an impromptu road trip to California for Spring Break. We adventured around Los Angeles, seeing Hollywood sights, frolicking on Newport beach (& letting Gentry dream at the Ferrari dealership), being in the audience of Americas Got Talent and spending time with a family friends beautiful family in Irvine. On the return trip, we explored Palm Springs/Joshua Tree and hung out with my brother Aarons family in Phoenix.

The children resumed their sports activities in the Spring as well.  Gentry completed his final season of AYSO soccer.  And despite reoccurring hip flexor pain, Gentry finished out his middle school Track experience by finishing in 1st & 2nd places in the longer sprints: 800m, 1600m, and the 4x100m relay.   He even set a new school record for the 1600m (1 mile) with a time of 5.24 (the school record hadn’t been broken in 15 years). Go Gentry!!!  Haven decided to follow in her brothers footsteps and join Track & Field at the local middle school also. It was awesome having the children in the same sport at the same school for once.  She placed in 1st or 2nd place in the sprints: 100m, 200m, 300m hurdles, all the relays (4×100 & 4×400, medley).  Haven also joined a Spring volleyball league at the local community center. 

We had a fast and furious summer.  We began the summer with a roadtrip to southern Texas (with an awesome overnight visit with Charlies cousin Donnas family in Amarillo) where we spent 5 nights in Canyon Lake, TX. We loved hanging on the fun boat with family/friends and we also took a side trip to the Schlitterbahn Water park in New Braunfels.  I got to spend a few solo days with my twin sister in Austin. After returning home, the children went to their summer camps:  Haven went away for a week at Camp Shaver in Jemez and did UNM volleyball day camp for a week. Gentry went away to Project Gold running camp in Flagstaff, AZ and did a local Mountain Biking day camp for a week. Haven also spent 2 weeks in Chattanooga Tennessee with our friends Lucy & Randall. She had a blast with all their adventures involving babies, rivers, and horses!!

It was an exciting year of firsts for 15 year old Gentry.  Over the summer, he got his first “real” semi-regular job as a Ranch hand at a local 60 acre horse ranch in Sandia Park.  He loved working hard and making his own money.  Not to be out done, Haven also started up a Pet Sitting venture on Rover.com and banked some bucks. We marked Gentrys first year of Highschool (9th grade) by getting him Orthodontic braces for his teeth!!  He also completed his drivers education program in October and got his Drivers Permit (we’ve been reluctantly practicing our passenger seat heart attack drills and pop scare screams). In the Fall, Gentry joined a local mountain bike club called the Goatheads under the National Interscholastic Cycling Association, and competed in races in Pajarito, Socorro, Gallup, etc. After many race wins, he ended up being the overall State Champion for the 9th grade boys. Woohoo!! Also in the Fall, after a long sad story about Gentry not being able to practice with the Cross Country team due to their morning practices, he ended up joining Manzano Highschool Soccer team instead.  He was intimidated at first but eventually found his groove and loved playing on Varsity and JV for the season, he even earned a Letter. Lastly, Gentry also got his first official girlfriend in the Fall. It only lasted a few months but she was as sweet as can be so she deserved an honorable mention. 

Haven started 8th grade in August and also finally hit the age of becoming an official TEENAGER. Dunn, Dunn, Dunnnnnnn!! She completed her AYSO soccer season in the Fall, ended with being the highest goal scorer. Simultaneously after a very long dramatic sad story about her not being allowed to play on the same local middle school volleyball team due to our home address, we broke our “no Club sports” rule and let her try out for Cactus Club volleyball team.  She was thrilled to make the team and has been loving it so far.  But we are not sure what we got ourselves into with this out of state traveling for games!!

Charlie continued to be fulfilled and challenged in his workplace this year.  He also began traveling to Phoenix regularly to help his work team there. I officially closed both physical office locations of my private practice since I’ve been mostly doing video sessions since the pandemic.  I’m still working with Parenting Forward NM co-parenting clients (via Bosque Mental Health), in addition to this being my 2nd school year working as a part-time Social Worker at my childrens K-12 charter school in Edgewood.  I love being where they are!

The finale of 2023 was spending Thanksgiving in snowy filled days in Pagosa Springs, Colorado and spending days prior to that with Charlies son Aaron who came to visit us from his new job in Mesa, AZ. Charlie got to spend the last week of November in New York City for work!! He loved it! I was jealous. 

We hope this letter finds you and your family in good health and spirit. We wish you lots of love and happiness in 2024.

Love,

The Tomlins

2022: Year in Review

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Unlike the previous few years, we actually started 2022 with some grandiose plans set.  Well, one of us did…  Charlie began training in January for his goal of reaching Mount Everest Base Camp in Nepal.  He spent the first 4 months of the year hiking/snow shoe’ing up to the top of Sandia Crest (10,600 ft elevation) every week to prepare his body for the adventure.  And in May, he, my Dad, my two uncles, and my great cousin, all conquered the bucket list feat and safely reached Everest Base Camp (18,600 ft) after 9 days.  Along their journey they got to meet Kanchha Sherpa, the last living member of the first *confirmed* Everest Expedition of 1953 with Hillary & Norgay.  In hindsight I kinda wish I wouldn’t have chickened out and had went with them.  

I was invited on my own spur of the moment trip in April. Two girlfriends and I went to San Diego/Oceanside, California.  We all had a fun adventure kayaking La Jolla cove, enjoying sunsets on the beach, shopping at sunset markets, visiting Balboa park, San Diego Museum of Art, staying in an old historic hotel in the GasLamp district, and enjoying fun off the beaten path Karaoke bars.  Also in April, the children and I took our annual road trip to visit my brothers family in Surpirse, AZ.  My sister-in-law was able to buy us tickets for the Spring Training baseball game between the Dodgers & the Texas Rangers. My Mom came with us and we all had a great time.  The cherry on top of the AZ trip was meeting up with two of my Mom friends and taking our daughters to the Billie Eilish concert.  It was Havens first concert and she was so excited! It was a great concert!  At the beginning of the summer, my twin sister came to visit after a grueling last semester of Graduate school at Texas A&M University where she finished her Masters Degree in Social Work (they call us twins for a reason)! I’m so happy for her!

Since this year held milestone birthdays for both Charlie and my Dad, they both deserved a special celebration so we celebrated both with separate surprise gatherings.  I felt how loved these two men are by the warm & caring people who came to show their love/celebration of them.  Charlie also planned a “birthday” celebration ski trip in February to Angelfire, NM with his Texas cousins who all had their milestone birthdays this year also.  It was so much fun skiing, hanging out, and playing fun board games with them all.  We’d not laughed that hard in a long time. 

The children had a great year.  They resumed their background “acting” gigs over Spring Break and over the summer with some work in Netflix/Amazon series and movie productions (“Unbroken” & “Chupa”). They were EXTRA excited to be “featured” as unique students  (“The BETRS”) in a new Nickelodeon series called The Very Loud House (we don’t have cable so we’ll probably not get to see it)!!  They both also attended week long soccer summer camps at Sandia Highschool and Manzano Highschool.  

Gentry finished 7th grade in May after making the “high” honor roll, we were very proud of him. He participated in his very first season in Track & Field in the Spring.  His coach put him in both sprint relays and in long distance events which he did great in, he even took 1st place in the high jump at one of the meets (funny because he’s the shortest one in his grade). Due to Gentry loving running so much (whose child is this?), we sent him to Project Gold running camp for a week in Flagstaff, AZ in July (his boyscout camp got canceled).  He had a great time staying in the dorms at Northern Arizona University campus, and meeting all kinds of teen running enthusiasts from all over the USA.  Gentry started 8th grade in the fall and continued on in both soccer and his 2nd season of Cross Country.  After a stellar season of Cross Country with the nearby public middle school Gentry got asked to run for Moriarty Highschool as an 8th grader but long story short, our address was zoned for Manzano HS in Albuquerque so he ran for them instead (my old HS!!) and the boys team qualified in their District meet to participate in the State meet. He improved at every single meet this season and ended with a PR of 19:08 (for the 5K) at the State Championship meet at ABQ Academy XC course.  We’ll see where he wants to take this, it’s been so exciting so far to watch this passion bloom.  

Haven finished 6th grade in May and started 7th grade in August.  Her Spring soccer season concluded with a variety of tournaments.  Even though her team didn’t advance, she loved every minute of field time with her fun co-ed AYSO team. She had separate week long summer camp experiences in the NM mountains at Hummingbird Music Camp learning piano and at Camp Oro Quay.  She raved about her experiences.  She wanted to tryout for a “Club” soccer team for the Fall but we missed the tryouts over the summer.  It was fate because in the Fall she decided she wanted to join the Volleyball team in addition to her regular AYSO soccer (we never would have been able to keep up with the demanding practice schedule of Club soccer AND volleyball).  Fall was complete chaos with both of the children participating in 2 sports each.  Haven enjoyed volleyball and even though her team lost most of their games, she loved improving every week and she loved her coaches guidance/encouragement. 

Charlie continued to be fulfilled and challenged in his workplace where he had a dynamic year of changes and opportunities. In October he accepted a job promotion within Facebook and he is looking forward to continuing to lead his team and worksite through all the new directions of growth. I continued to work in my private practice and as a Parenting Coordinator for the Courts but I could not pass up the opportunity to work a few days a week as a school social worker at my childrens K-12 charter school in Edgewood (in addition to keeping my contract at one of my high schools in Albuquerque).  I also accepted the volunteer role of Sustainer Director within the Junior League of Albuquerque.  I feel like I’m drowning… (how does that song go?  Ha!)

We ended the year with some big changes.  Our guesthouse renters welcomed baby #2 and moved back to Tennessee in October after living next to us for 3 years and becoming a close part of our family (it was painful, especially for Haven who loved caring for their sweet babies almost daily).  We miss them so much.  Also in October, we joined my Dad at his Mayan Palace timeshare for a fun and relaxing vacation in Puerto Penasco, Mexico over the childrens Fall Break from school. It was everything we needed to power through the rest of the year.  

The finale of 2022 was just enjoying the 2 weeks off over Christmas Break and doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!  My Uncle Chris came to visit from South Africa, my brother Marcus came to visit from Utah (with my nephew Gavin), and Charlies son Aaron came to visit from Houston.  We rang in the New Year in a friends living room and watched fireworks all over the city.  We wouldn’t have had it any other way!

We feel so grateful for friends/family and we hope this letter finds you and your family in good health and spirit. We wish you lots of love and success in 2023.

Love,

The Tomlins

2021: Year in Review

2021 seemed to start out with a hopeful glimmer that maybe the Pandemic would be over soon and things would go back to “normal” but we quickly realized that it was just going to be more of the same waiting game and moving targets so we adapted our mentality quickly to go with the flow and not have any expectations. Like 2020, we didn’t have any plans to travel and played things by ear month to month.   We did reignite our commitment to keep our relationship fire roaring with Operation Reconnect.

We got paranoid about being locked down until 2023 so we jumped at more opportunities than usual to attend music concerts this year: Foo Fighters, Dave Matthews, and Chris Stapleton.  Charlie went mountain biking in Sedona, AZ in early March with his friends and later that month we drove to Phoenix to visit my brothers family for Spring Break and celebrated our 13 wedding anniversary in style while we were there.  We both took our first airline flights since 2019, I had a fun girls weekend in Nashville, TN for my friends wedding and Charlie went to Phoenix, AZ for the LA Rams/Cardinals game with his colleagues. We both had a blast getting away from the Albuquerque routine for short blip of time!!  

The children enjoyed full-time in-person school for most of the year. Haven ended 5th grade and started 6th grade (still elementary school at her Charter school).  Gentry ended 6th grade and started 7th grade, his first year of Middle School (dunn, dunn, dunnnnnnnnn!!).  Despite all of the Covid hoops, the children have both stayed active in Boy Scouts and were excited to resume AYSO Soccer in the Fall season (and tournaments).  Both of their teams were one game shy of being undefeated. Gentry decided to join the Cross Country running team within the larger school district of his Charter school this year.  He really excelled at running and he won a meet at a Desert Ridge Middle school in Albuquerque, even beating all the 8th graders. He was beaming with pride and says he “loves running”…. (that makes one of us. Ha!)

Just like 2020, we decided to take a camping road trip, this time to the Southeast part of the USA.  On the last day of school at the end of May, we hooked up our little Scamp camper and set off on a three week road trip adventure east on I-40!!  It ended up being 4500+ miles, 70+ hours driving, across 11 southern states.  The highlights of our trip were: mountain biking in Bentonville, AR; camping on the Mississippi River in Memphis, TN;  Memorial Day weekend boating with friends on the Tennessee river in Knoxville, TN; hiking and fishing in the Blue Ridge/Great Smokies in the Appalachians; Asheville, Charlotte, bonfires on the beach and catching crabs in Outer Banks/Rodanthe/Nags Head, NC; Wright Brothers museum in Kitty Hawk, NC; Charleston, Savannah, Birmingham, Jackson, and visiting family in Amarillo and Dallas. We did a lot of hiking, bike riding, playing in the rivers/ocean, and S’mores eating.

Since we didn’t put the children in an extended length summer program this year, we were free to make our own summer of fun.  After we returned from the road trip, the children had fun at a few summer camps: “Theater Boot Camp” at Sandia Preparatory school, “Minecraft coding” at the National Museum of Nuclear Science, and AYSO Soccer camp.   We also signed the children up with several “background extras” movie/TV casting agencies on FB.  Haven was cast as a 12 year old version of a main Character in an Amazon TV Pilot called “Hot Pink” and she filmed scenes over 3 days.  She said she loved “acting” so much even though her parts were voiceover/flashback scenes.  Both of the children were picked for a Netflix suspense movie called “End of the Road” starring Queen Latifa and Ludacris (I was slightly giddy!!!) filmed at Bonanza Ranch near Santa Fe.  They were also picked for another Amazon TV series called “Outer Range” starring Josh Brolin as “Mutton kids” filmed at a Livestock Auction in Los Lunas, NM.  The icing on the cake was the three of us being picked for an airport scene in Netflix TV series  “Stranger Things” Season 4. The children were SO EXCITED to be inches from the young actors from one of their favorite shows.  Even though it was a long day that started before dawn and had a million retakes, it was pretty neat to be a part of it and to be transformed back to the 1980’s!!! 

In July, thanks to my friends plea to re-home her puppy, we added a new member to the family.  She’s a spunky mini Australian Shepherd and poodle mix and the children named her Gracie. She has breathed new life into our old 17 year old dog Budrow who had been in a funk since Kisa died. He loves Gracie!  For the children’s birthdays in August (Gentry is now a teenager!), we got rid of the bunkbeds and they finally got their own separate bedrooms. They were SO EXCITED to have their own decor…and privacy!! 

In November, Gentry got drawn for his very first “youth hunt” for deer in unit 17 (in south central New Mexico).  It was an exciting story of Charlie being on the lookout on the other side of the ridge and then hearing Gentrys gun shots and running to see what had unfolded.   Gentry had shot a 6 point deer from 100 yards away.  They were so excited to share the story when they returned home.  Gentry was more excited and proud than I’d ever seen him.  The venison has been delicious.

Charlie continued his youth leadership adventures as the Assistant Scout Master of Gentry & Havens Boy Scout troop.  The troop had several fun overnight excursions: in February to Corona, NM (East central NM), in April to Rockhound State Park, NM (20 miles north of the Mexico border), in July to Carson National Forest in Cruces Basin (nearly on the Colorado border), and in September to Elephant Butte Lake, NM.  I’m sure I missed one or two.  The troop also did their firewood cutting/delivering fundraiser in February. The troop also built, painted, and placed a American flag retirement collection box in the Tijeras community library.  We feel proud of Gentry for his commitment to continuing to learn the value of hard work, teamwork, and accountability.  

Charlie had a busy year of leading his team at FB through all the ups/downs of getting back into a flow of normal but modified operations. He called it the “new reality” and from the outside looking in, 2021 seemed to be more stressful on him than 2020.  But if I’ve learned anything about Charlie, he is a beast and he can drag that train up the hill even if it’s on fire.  In November FB announced plans to build/develop another two data center buildings (costing $1B) at the Los Lunas site which was pretty exciting for his team.  Gooooo Charlie Go!!!  Embrace all that new grey hair before your 50th in June…. 

I was lucky to be able to continue working from home (which most clients preferred anyway) but I started back in my Edgewood office in the Fall with a few in-person clients.  I finally had to close my client waiting list due to the overwhelming demand.  I also returned to ‘in-person’ school social work at two charter schools in Albuquerque in the Fall.  My Parenting Forward contract gig finally got off the ground with being assigned our first client in the Fall by a Family Court Judge which was exciting.  The Parenting Forward parent agency, Bosque Mental Health, asked me to represent the agency on several local News interviews about parenting this year which was good practice for my stage fright. Ha! They went surprisingly well even though I dread the prep and nervousness that comes with them. 

The relaxing finale of the year was driving to La Grange, Texas to spend Christmas in 80 degree weather with Charlies family. It’s easy to have daily gratitude when life is giving us everything we want but it’s a true test to find it amongst challenges. 2021 felt less challenging than 2020 so I’m grateful for that.  We feel incredibly grateful for friends/family and we hope this letter finds you and your family in good health and positive spirit. We wish you lots of love and prosperity in 2022.

Love,

The Tomlins

2020 Recap: Bring on the New Year!

Does anyone really read these long end-of-year Christmas letters?  It would be a miracle if I ever get to the point of actually printing these letters out and mailing them within an ACTUAL Christmas card.  I’m still trying to deny the fact that I just might not be one of THOSE people, THOSE fabulous people that are capable of organizing their family into a super cute family photo session, picking the perfect shot, having it printed on some cute holiday card and ACTUALLY addressing envelopes and having them arrive BEFORE Christmas.  That’s never been in my wheelhouse but I still hold out hope….. I mostly write these so that we can look back 20 years from now and remember all the shenanigans we delighted ourselves in.  2020 has definitely been a year that we’ll never forget!

How do I even start recapping this year?  2020 was the strangest year ever!!  It felt like we were in a rickety little fishing boat in the middle of a Typhoon storm clinging to a life vest waiting for the storm to pass… but the storm never passed. From the Covid-19 virus/illness/deaths, to homeschooling, to Zoom meetings galore, to the political tensions, to the economic (& education) catastrophes, to the George Floyd protests, to the collective awakening that I felt sorta happen over the summer….this was 2020. It felt so messy (but somehow necessary?) and the sun eventually came out… and we made a loaf of Sourdough (& TikTok videos) like everyone else. LOL!  

Amazingly, we did not have a single travel plan made for 2020.  I had decided at the last minute to book a flight to Austin, Texas to run the Statesman Capital 10K race with my twin sister in April but Covid-19 promptly shut that down (it was actually a relief because who am I kidding?).  My twin did come stay with us for a few months in the summer which was wonderful!

My Mom finally decided this was the year that she was going to move back to NM from Guam.  She’d lived there for 10+ years!!  Near the end of March, she hopped a flight from Guam into the hotbed of Covid, Seattle, WA!!!  We were all a bit freaked out but after staying with family friends, Chondra & Adam, for a few days she eventually made it to NM unscathed.  We’re happy to have her back “home”.

The children’s school went full-time online in the beginning of March and never resumed “in-person” school. Haven ended 4th grade and started 5th grade.  Gentry ended 5th grade and started 6th grade.  The children started the fall school semester with two days of in person school and three days of online school.  Though it wasn’t ideal, they absolutely loved being able to see their friends two days a week.  They also luckily didn’t have to shut the school down for any positive Covid cases.  Hallelujah!!  The children have both stayed active in Boy Scouts (for what they were allowed to do in person and then otherwise had virtual Scout meetings).  At her request, Haven started taking voice lessons in January but Covid also shut those down.  All of the children’s usual team sports (baseball, soccer, etc) were also cancelled for the entire year. We tried to keep them physically active in other ways. 

With the financial/economic devastation that the pandemic caused, Charlie and I felt very grateful to be able to continue working.  I was lucky to be able to work from home (with the children not being able to physically be at school) to provide Teletherapy to patients needing mental health/behavioral health sessions.  It seemed that my waiting list multiplied as the months went on, both a positive and negative sign of what our country was experiencing.  In February, I also trained to become a Parenting Coordinator (court ordered to assist parents in contentious divorces) with a local counseling agency.  I also continued to do contract school social work for an elementary school and high school in Albuquerque.  Doing school social work sessions via video proved to be a challenge to say the least.  Zoom fatigue is a real thing, especially for young or special education students.  Certainly not ideal but we made the best of it. 

Charlie was dropped into a spinning wheel of Covid regulation chaos this year at his workplace.  He struggled to keep projects running “on time” while also navigating the Covid safety restrictions mandated by the NM governor to keep workers safe on the site.  It has been the most challenging time of his career he said but he still feels so grateful to work for such an amazing company that connects people all over the world.  I actually gained so much more respect and admiration for him this year, witnessing his jam packed Zoom meeting schedule, how amazingly organized he is, how much pride he takes in the success of his workplace/projects, and his own leadership role/responsibility to others. It made me want to be a better wife to him at home. I’m not sure how but it made me just want to be better. Charlie also continued to be a co-leader of Gentrys Boy Scout troop and organize meaningful activities for the troop.  Not even 2020 could get this guy to slow down! Sheesh!

Somewhere around the beginning of summer, even us introverts were starting to get tired of staying home.  Charlie and I realized that if we were going to be working from “home” remotely anyway, then we could essentially go anywhere in the USA and work along the way as long as we had internet access.  So beginning of July we hooked up our tiny Scamp camper and set off on a three week, 7 state road trip adventure!!  A friend told us that 4th graders could sign up for a “National Park Pass” that would enable them and their families to enter into any National Park for FREE so we signed Haven up.  We started in Grand Canyon National Park (NP) in Arizona, then Zion NP in Utah,  Great Basin NP in Nevada, Glacier NP in Montana, Yellowstone NP and Grand Tetons NP in Wyoming. And a bunch of other State parks along the way. We got really lucky at the National Parks because they were very sparse of tourists during peak season due to the on-again/off-again Covid capacity restrictions.  It felt like luck was in our corner everywhere we went. We loved camping and seeing all the beauty of this country.  Glacier and Yellowstone were our two favorites, just breathtaking scenery and getting to see all kinds of wildlife (buffalo, bear, deer, elk, mouse, etc). We visited Hurricane, UT and stayed with my brother Marcus and his family for a few nights.  We also visited Shoshone Falls in Idaho and got to stay with my cousin Misty and her family near Boise, ID. Sun Valley, Idaho and Jackson Hole, Wyoming were also super cute but a tad too “hip & touristy” for us (aka: crawling with people even in a Pandemic).  Charlie was able to mountain bike in most of the locations we stayed.  We did a lot of hiking, bike riding, playing in the lakes/rivers, and S’mores eating.

2020 was the year of the road trip for us:   We went to the Mountain Biking Festival in Sedona, AZ in early March, to Phoenix in June to visit my brothers family (& in September they finally came to stay with us for a vacation from Quarantining), our epic 7 state road trip in July, to Austin/Houston/La Grange, Texas in November for Thanksgiving to see my sister and Charlies family, and to Aztec Ruins, NM/Durango, CO/Arches National Park, UT/Salt Lake City/Park City, Utah for skiing in December.   We definitely enjoyed the open road as a mental escape this year!

For the children’s birthdays in August, the “Tomlin Farm” acquired a gift in the form of an adorable black mini-horse named Juliette.  She is so mellow and sweet, we absolutely adore her!!   We also got a sweet new black kitten and we’re still deciding between two names that mean, Queen of Destruction or Goddess of War. Stay tuned. Our guesthouse renters also had their first child in mid-December so we’re hoping to get some sweet baby lovin soon (newborn baby smell is a thing).  I have to mention our guesthouse renters because she luckily was home when I nearly sliced off the top ¼ of my pinky finger while I was sewing face masks in March and she gave me beautiful kitchen table stitches while I turned pale and nearly passed out. Ha! I was very nervous/worried about the world during the first few months of the Pandemic and I was NOT handling it well. Luckily that has subsided a bit.

Lastly, I decided NOT to identify my word of intention for the new year in these letters because the Universe obviously read last years letter (my word of intention for 2020 was “Less”… and boy was 2020 “Less” in many ways but also “Less is More”). I certainly mean no insensitivity to those that struggled, lost their livelihoods or loved ones to the pandemic of 2020, but this year has been a positive experience for us personally. It allowed us to slow down/cut out all the noise, spend more time with our family, and take inventory of our lives in a way we would have never done. We really were able to *fully* appreciate family/friends and soak up that fleeting thing we never seem to have enough of…. TIME. It’s easy to have daily gratitude when life is giving us everything we want but it’s a true test to find it amongst challenges. We still most definitely realize how much privilege we had this year. We’re going into 2021 without expectation or any serious intention mantras or resolutions. We’re going to just chill and go with the flow, try to remain fluid/flexible. That is one thing that 2020 beat into us: leaning into uncertainty and embracing change.

I can’t even really fully make sense of 2020 yet and I’m so grateful that we (and all of the people we know personally) have survived the year (on a physical/existential level and with mental/emotional growth).  We hope this letter finds you and your family holding up well. We wish you lots of love in 2021.

Love,
The Tomlins
(Charlie, Kellie, Gentry, & Haven)

The children’s birthday celebration in August (with all of my divorced parents).

2019 Recap: Merry Christmas!!

At the annual Christmas Parade in Madrid, NM

Reflecting back on 2019 I keep finding more and more adventures stored in my brain so this is going to be a long one.  We certainly made up for the unexpected travel cancellation of 2018… and then some.  

We committed to another year of “Operation Reconnect” to make sure hubby and I planned adult dates with each other at least once a month.  We also continued the Family dates of doing something out of the normal routine for the children at least once a month.

The “Tomlin Farm” acquired two beautiful mating ducks from a friend and two new mini goats from a relocating neighbor.  Unfortunately we didn’t realize (remember?) that ducks could fly and they promptly “flew the coop” within days which was a bummer because we had just caught them on video making duck porn in our barnyard pool so we had hoped to see baby ducks at some point.  In October we got a new black kitty (“Puma”) from a friend to keep our female feline, Aphrodite, on her toes.  Budrow didn’t seem to mind the new feline friend. We also got fantastic new guesthouse renters in May, a young ER doctor and a hot shot firefighter from Chattanooga, TN.  Our good friends, Ken & Rain, also relocated to Albuquerque from Shanghai, China to work at Intel and I enjoyed teaching Rain how to drive in America.  Though I probably wasn’t the best suited teacher (as many of you know how exciting my driving is), she successfully got her drivers license.  Woohoo!!!

Haven ended 3rd grade and started 4th grade. She continued with Guitar club at school and she tried out Gymnastics in the Spring (absolutely loved it!).  She left the Girl Scouts this year in favor of Boy Scouts which she thoroughly enjoyed (especially being able to do fun boy things with her Dad and Gentry).  Before leaving Girl Scouts she got to attend the Roar & Snore, an overnight slumber party with the animals at the Zoo. She loved it!  She got 2nd place in the Boy Scouts Pinewood Derby for her age group (racing a handheld car that she designed/built out of wood).  Gentry ended 4th grade and started 5th grade.  He enjoyed attending a Boy Scout camp near Fort Worth, Texas in June.  He  joined the Archery club at his school this year and competed in the State competition. Both of the children did AYSO Soccer in the Fall.  Gentry joined a Futsal team after Fall soccer ended.  Futsal is a very fast paced soccer game played in a small gymnasium.  He learned quickly and his East Mountain team did pretty well for their first time.  The children also spent another June/July at the Think Academy summer school and took fun classes in Yoga, Hip Hop, Math, Science, Drama, Creative Writing, and Digital Arts.

We did our usual family ski trips at Sandia Ski Area and Angelfire, NM.  We were under an expiration deadline (hey, we’re procrastinators) to use four tickets that we won at a Junior League silent auction years ago to Disneyland so in February we headed to Anaheim, California.  While the children had a blast, Disneyland was still so packed with people and long lines (even though Feb is their “slowest” month), they more seemed to enjoy playing on the Santa Monica Beach/Pier and riding bicycles along the coast.  We took our regular road trip to Phoenix at the end of May to stay with my brother Aarons family and let the children play with their cousins.  We also used our credit card points for an impromptu Thanksgiving trip to Seattle where got to see all the touristy spots (space needle, Pikes Place market, Starbucks, Amazon Go store, bubble gum wall, etc).  We then road tripped the Pacific northwest coast of Washington and Oregon, seeing forests with gigantic trees in Olympic National Park and going to the northwestern most point of the contiguous United States, Cape Flattery.  We took a car ferry into Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. We got to see the final destination of the Salmon run and it was so educational/interesting. The trees were so large up north and it was so wet, lush, and green comparative to New Mexico.  Absolutely beautiful scenery.  We got to connect with old friends, Rachelle & Oran, and, Chondra & Adam, along the way back to Seattle for our flight back to NM which was the favorite part of our trip.

The highlight of our year was finally planning a four week trip to visit my Mom in Guam over the summer. Guam is 6000 Miles west of USA in the middle of the Pacific ocean near Japan and the Philippines.  Mom has lived there for 10+ years and we’ve never gone to visit her.  To make the most of our long flights, we opted to extend our layover in Tokyo, Japan for 4 days so that we could explore Japan a bit.  We stayed in a lovely homestay in Tokyo (aka: in a families home with them) and we walked everywhere we needed to go or took the subway.  With 37 Million people, Tokyo is the most populated metropolis in the world (and boy, did we feel it), the amount of courage it took just to get into a jam packed subway car was intense. The children loved exploring Shinjuku gardens, Temples, lounging with felines at the Cat Cafes, Pokemon store, restaurants in Golden Gai/Piss Alley, trying Waygu beef on Harajuku street, riding the train to explore the beach town of Kamakura, and roaming the largest fish market in the world (open since 1935), the Tsukiji Fish Market.  My favorite thing was all the delicious food and sushi EVERYWHERE.  Charlie stayed extra days to climb to the top of Mt. Fuji before returning to New Mexico to work and me and the children travelled on to Guam.  Mt. Fuji is the tallest mountain in Japan at 12K+ feet.  Charlie had quite an adventurous time trying to summit it in time to see the sunrise (see his FB posts). 

Aside from the scary Guam midflight malfunction that returned us to stay in Tokyo for the night, Guam was paradise.  Who knew?  Like Hawaii but better (less touristy). From the beautiful white beaches, to the warm water, to the history, to the people, we had a wonderful time.  My Moms amazing friends Gisela and Tim let us stay in the lower wing of their beautiful home so we woke up to their beautiful gardens and fresh tropical fruit (and giant delicious avocados) every day.  They gave the children homeschool lessons in art, writing in Japanese, and harvesting from the land.  They were phenomenal homestay hosts. The children enjoyed all the things my Mom had planned for them, exploring the military battle lands and museums, snorkeling the beaches on the military base (Gab Gab Beach), learning about the sharks at Fish Eye, checking out the local night market/fancy shopping/hotel areas, visiting Two Lovers Cliff, and taking a boat trip to Cocos island/paddle boarding.  The trip ended on Gentrys birthday, flying from Guam Time Zone back to New Mexico, he got a 40 hour birthday!! It was hard to come back and go to SCHOOL 6 days later!

Charlie continued to work hard at Facebook this year and celebrated the Grand Opening of Facebook data center in Los Lunas, the completion of the first phase buildings.  He only had time for one mountain bike race this year with his friends.  He enjoyed taking Gentry Elk hunting again and he stepped up to lead Gentrys Boy Scout troop.  

Lastly, I chose the word “Less” as my word of intention for 2020.  I want less of everything (craziness, stress, sugar, guilt, activities, commitments, etc).  As part of my intention to have less commitments in 2020, I served my final year on the Board of the Future Fund within the Albuquerque Community Foundation and I put in my resignation.  I also have made plans to leave my “active” role within the Junior League of Albuqerque at the end of the League year in May.  I have enjoyed my time being a part of both organizations for nearly 9 years but it’s time for me to step away.   There wasn’t much new in terms of career for me this year, I continued to do contract school social work through Cooperative Educational Services and see clients via my private practice.  I had the opportunity to take Sand Tray play therapy training, which I was so grateful for. 

2019 felt like a huge year for us and I hope we sort of take a more relaxing pace in 2020.  We hope this letter finds you and your family doing well. We wish you lots of love and joy in 2020 and “LESS” stress.

Love,
The Tomlins
(Charlie, Kellie, Gentry, & Haven)

At the Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine in Kamakura, Japan

Sisters, Like kids in a candy store

Today was the final piece in me & my sister’s trip to New York City.  Our segment aired on the Dr. Oz Show this afternoon and I felt relieved.  It was the grand finale on our whirlwind sister experience in NYC.  Watch the clip here:

My sister & I have had our ups & downs over the years, as is probably normal with any sibling relationship.  Well, maybe it’s not normal but it has been the normal for us.  But we’ve drifted a little too far apart in recent years, in my opinion.  So when I got notified that I had been selected for audience tickets for Oprah’s Lifeclass in NYC, she is the last person I thought would agree to go with me.

After all, she had convinced me that somehow we had nothing in common anymore since I had had babies.  She had convinced me that I couldn’t comprehend or relate to what it was like to be single in Albuquerque, therefore I wasn’t worthy of hanging out with her.  She had me convinced that my new circumstances somehow made me less of a sister, less of a friend, less worthy of her love & her time.  This was something I was just going to have to accept, after all you can’t MAKE someone want you.  Believe me I’ve tried.

It was a long shot, and it surprisingly came with very little contemplation on my part.  I think my heart made the decision for me, it knew that we needed this, it hoped that she’d say yes.  And she did.

The trip was everything I could have ever wished for.  It was everything that I tried hard not to imagine beforehand, everything that I didn’t want to have any expectations about in advance just in case the usual happened. I was going in with a clear head, a quiet heart, ready to just see what would happen in the 3 days that I had my sister all to myself.

In a nutshell, it was magical.  We were transported back to when we first turned 21 and went to Vegas together.  Like 2 kids in a candy shop, just excited to be in NYC, with all it’s energy, and each other.  For the first time in a long time, we  were both just living in the present moment with each other, no where else to be, no skipping out early.

We were just being twins, being silly, being excited, making each other laugh until our bellies hurt.  I think I laughed more in those 3 days than I had in years.  We were in sync again.  We agreed on everything, it was almost unspoken twin intuition:  how long to stay out, where to shop, when to nap, when to eat, what to do & see.  It’s like we were the same person.

Tomorrow is uncertain, but I will carry those 3 days in my heart forever.  We were not only sisters again, we were friends.

10 random things discovered during our east coast vacation:

1.)
We skipped a bar in downtown Buffalo because the crowd entering looked like too many “young kids”. The next morning our GPS guided us to the nearest Starbucks, to our surprise it ended up being smack dab in the middle of the University of Buffalo campus. We still parked and went. Apparently having morning coffee with those “young kids” isn’t as bad as drinking booze with them LOL!!

2.)
Sore post-surgery knees, don’t do very well at Catholic weddings.

3.)
Gambling at a Casino after a wedding pays off. Roulette especially.

4.)
Eating some form of Lobster and/or seafood for breakfast, lunch, & dinner for two days in a row in Maine never got old, even though our credit cards got tired.

5.)
Trying to find affordable same day lodging in NY, MA, & ME can be a big challenge. Knights Inn hotels are like a Motel 6, only ten times worse! Think seedy hooker hotel down on Central with no regular housekeeping. Yuck!

6.)
The pro and con of being 5 minutes too late to catch the guided 2 mile walking tour of the Historic Freedom Trail in and around downtown Boston. Con: not so easy to read a brochure & walk at the same time, especially when your nose is running & hands are freezing. Pro: an hour in, decide to bail early and hit the Union Oyster House without feeling guilty or accountable to anyone.

7.)
Dragging big luggage through the streets of Manhattan during sidewalk/subway rush hour in the pouring rain, pisses the locals off. What a nightmare. And to think we might have had Gentry with us. eeek!!

8.)
After learning what the yearly taxes are in New York & Massachusetts, I am never going to complain about the yearly property taxes that I pay on my house in NM again!

9.)
Keeping a packed itinerary, keeps you from going insane missing your sweet little baby. I was surprised at how well I did without him.

10.)
Road tripping with your husband is a highly underrated belated honeymoon! Having an open itinerary with no booked hotels, traveling across New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, & Maine is a true adventure.

10.5)
Good friends & family make you feel right at home and like there was never years or miles between you! I learned that instead of trying not to be intrusive on peoples lives while visiting, I will surrender to peoples need to be accommodating & hospitable. Great times! Great times!!